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Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin's children expelled due to "rage issues"
It appears that divorce is taking its toll on the Gosselin children. Reports from CBS News and from TV Guide and from People have surfaced that two of Kate Gosselin's children have been expelled due to 'rage issues,' and Kate is now homeschooling them.
Divorce is hard on children. It is not unusual for children to begin "acting out" to get their parents' attention. Many children believe that divorce is somehow their fault. The children may be acting out to get their parents back together to deal with the situation. It is really important during this difficult time for parents to be polite, work together, and not to fight in front of the children. Otherwise, children begin to learn that the only way to get results is to raise your voice, yell, say mean things, or even resort to physical violence to get their way.
What they see, is what they do. Don't let your emotions get in the way of doing what is best for your child. Be sure that you utilize impulse control so that your children learn to think before they act.
Legal Separation: Clinton County & Clay County, IL
What is a legal separation? In many ways, it is just like a divorce - decisions are made how to split up the marital estate: real and personal property, children, income, etc. But, it is different in that typically, you cannot be removed from your spouse's insurance, real property is not typically sold, and it is not "permanent" in the same way that a divorce is permanent,. i.e., you are in fact, divorced, and the court separates all the marital property between you and your spouse. About.com has some great articles discussing the difference between divorce and separation. Click here to read more.
I have many people who call me asking about legal separations. Before the Great Recession, the belief among attorneys was, "if you're gonna split up, you might as well get divorced." In today's economy, however, many folks are utilizing legal separations taking advantage of the lower costs involved in a separation. Typically, there is an agreement between the parties when legal separations are involved. And, although I'm not a tax lawyer, I know there can be monetary advantages to a legal separation, as opposed to a divorce.
And, some people just don't believe in divorce. In those cases, legal separation may give you everything you want, when you can't live with your spouse, but, can't live with the thought of a divorce.
Call The Gosteli Law Firm to find out if a legal separation is right for you. 618-740-0430 xt 1
I have many people who call me asking about legal separations. Before the Great Recession, the belief among attorneys was, "if you're gonna split up, you might as well get divorced." In today's economy, however, many folks are utilizing legal separations taking advantage of the lower costs involved in a separation. Typically, there is an agreement between the parties when legal separations are involved. And, although I'm not a tax lawyer, I know there can be monetary advantages to a legal separation, as opposed to a divorce.
And, some people just don't believe in divorce. In those cases, legal separation may give you everything you want, when you can't live with your spouse, but, can't live with the thought of a divorce.
Call The Gosteli Law Firm to find out if a legal separation is right for you. 618-740-0430 xt 1
VAP - Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity: Richland County & Marion County, IL
Signing a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity is a big deal. Also called a VAP, signing one removes your chance to challenge the paternity of a child with a DNA test. It is a contract, and it can't just be cancelled like a subscription to Netflix. It is important to know this because if you find out later that your woman lied to you, and you're not the baby's father, you've got a tough fight ahead of you.
If you sign a VAP, understand that you only have two years to fight the VAP. And, the only way to overcome the VAP is to hire an attorney, and prove that the contract, the VAP, was signed under duress (a gun held to your head), coercion (she threatened to tell your wife, or your friends something embarassing, and won't do it only if you sign the paper), or fraud (she signed your name on the form, or you can prove she lied to you, without a DNA test).
The VAP has all this information on the bottom of the form. Be sure you understand what you're giving up, and the responsibility that you're taking on before putting your name on a piece of paper that will change your life forever. You have the right to have a DNA test done before signing the form. One can never be too careful.
If you sign a VAP, understand that you only have two years to fight the VAP. And, the only way to overcome the VAP is to hire an attorney, and prove that the contract, the VAP, was signed under duress (a gun held to your head), coercion (she threatened to tell your wife, or your friends something embarassing, and won't do it only if you sign the paper), or fraud (she signed your name on the form, or you can prove she lied to you, without a DNA test).
The VAP has all this information on the bottom of the form. Be sure you understand what you're giving up, and the responsibility that you're taking on before putting your name on a piece of paper that will change your life forever. You have the right to have a DNA test done before signing the form. One can never be too careful.
I Want Joint Custody: Clay, Clinton & Marion County, Illinois
Lots of parents get worked up about custody labels. And that concern is completely understandable because it's your child. In fact, clients often start out saying, "I'm not agreeing to anything but sole custody." Most people believe that joint custody means that the parties have equal time with the children, and no one has to pay child support. But that simply isn't true. Custody labels are just that - labels. It is important to have the proper wording to identify and enforce your parental and visitation rights in your custody agreement.
Make no mistake: it is really difficult to understand that a court "awards" custody of YOUR child, the one you helped raise, and love, and protect with all your heart and soul, to either you, the other parent, or to you both, jointly. That concept is tough for anyone to swallow.
But, the truth is this: there are three levels of custody, and they can be mixed and matched.
Sole custody means that one parent has complete control over the children's education, medical treatment, and religion.
Joint custody means that both parents have the decision making power over the children's education, medical treatment, and religion.
Shared custody (rarely awarded) is when two parents live very near to each other, and the child lives equally at both residences. This means that each parent has a complete room, and all the amenities for the child, and that neither party receives child support.
As I said, this is RARELY awarded for two reasons: 1) the parents must be wealthy to afford the same amenities; and 2) the child will constantly be moving, and will never have one place to call home. That sounds great until you have a teenager who constantly "forgets" and leaves school books at the other parents' home, and realizes this, only at 10:00 p.m., when the other parent is likely already in bed. (And, yes, that really happens.)
Keep in mind that the courts can only award what is labeled "joint custody" or "shared custody" if the parents get along and communicate extremely well. If the two of you have filed motions, or testified that you do not get along, and cannot communicate easily, the court is prohibited from labeling your custody agreement "joint custody."
I have a number of clients who want "joint custody" but cannot talk with their ex without a fight. In that instance, there is no joint parenting agreement, but the terms of the "joint parenting" agreement are written into the Marital Settlement Agreement without using that label. In those cases, one parent is labeled the "primary custodial parent," or "residential custodial parent," while the other parent is labeled the "non-custodial parent."
In these instances, the Marital Settlement Agreement will simply state that one parent is the residential custodian or primary custodian, and identify the other parent as the non-custodial parent. This type of agreement contains all the details to address how the parties will share decisions about the child(ren)'s medical care, religious upbringing, and educational needs.
So, remember: it is just a label. So make sure that your Marital Settlement Agreement identifies and protects your legal rights as a parent. The Agreement must include all the details regarding custody and visitation specific to your case. This is very important to help reduce miscommunication (read: arguments) and confusion (read: police called because of fights over who gets the kid) while raising your child(ren) in two separate households.
Lowering Child Support in Marion County & Clinton County, IL
In today's economy, every dollar counts. This is true whether you're paying child support or receiving it. If you lose your job, or have to take a paycut, be certain that you file a Motion to Modify Child Support. This is VERY important if you're paying child support. Otherwise, if you lose your job, and stop making payments, you can be held in contempt for such a failure, and be ordered to pay your ex's attorney's fees.
Draft up a Motion to Modify Child Support, and state the reason why you need the amount lowered - lost job, took a paycut, or are paid by commissions, and the economy has destroyed your income. You need to provide documents, such as a lay-off notice, or show paychecks to show loss of income. If you've applied for unemployment, be prepared to pay out of that unemployment. Or if you're denied unemployment, be sure to provide that letter to the court, too.
But, here's the problem: if you voluntarily left your job to get out of paying child support, that won't get you off the hook. See, the law in Illinois says that you can be required to pay the amount you are ABLE to make. It takes a little effort, but if your former boss testifies that you just quit, or made comments that you want to get fired so your old lady doesn't get any of your money...... Well, let's just say that kind of speech doesn't typically impress judges.
But, definitely be better safe than sorry. If your income decreases, go to the court before the court comes to you.
Draft up a Motion to Modify Child Support, and state the reason why you need the amount lowered - lost job, took a paycut, or are paid by commissions, and the economy has destroyed your income. You need to provide documents, such as a lay-off notice, or show paychecks to show loss of income. If you've applied for unemployment, be prepared to pay out of that unemployment. Or if you're denied unemployment, be sure to provide that letter to the court, too.
But, here's the problem: if you voluntarily left your job to get out of paying child support, that won't get you off the hook. See, the law in Illinois says that you can be required to pay the amount you are ABLE to make. It takes a little effort, but if your former boss testifies that you just quit, or made comments that you want to get fired so your old lady doesn't get any of your money...... Well, let's just say that kind of speech doesn't typically impress judges.
But, definitely be better safe than sorry. If your income decreases, go to the court before the court comes to you.
It's All About Perspective - Bad Week for Clarence Thomas
I have said it before - as a divorce attorney, I can just "sense" when things aren't right between two people. Maybe it's because I've grown cynical in my job. Maybe I'm just one of those "wacky" people who just "senses" things. (Yeah, it's all right - I've been called weird plenty of times before.) But, it's all about your perspective...
First, his wife calls Anita Hill. Then, his "ex-girlfriend" decides to come from behind the curtains, and tell the world about their five-year affair, as well as his affinity for big-breasted women and pornography. Now, the media reports that his nephew has tried to commit suicide, and had to be restrained and tasered during his hospital admission.
Click here to read others' thoughts on why Ginny Thomas called Anita Hill. Note divorce/marital problems are listed as No. 2. (Yeah, weird people can be right too!)
This is why I tell clients that it's all about perspective. Always remember that when things go bad, it can always get worse. Just be thankful you're not a U.S. Supreme Court Justice in the middle of a family melt-down, and the media's current
Illinois Domestic Violence Cases - Admissibility of 9-1-1 calls
In a domestic violence case, whether it's an Order of Protection, a Civil No-Contact Order, a Restraining Order, or a criminal charge of domestic violence, admissibility of evidence is important. In particular, officers, dispatchers, and 9-1-1 call tapes can make up a big part of the case, and the testimony.
But, how do you get those tapes into evidence? If the person isn't there to testify about what happened, it's hearsay and it's not admissible. Furthermore, in Crawford v. Davis, 541, U.S. 36, 53-54 (2003), the U.S. Supreme Court talked about the inadmissibility of evidence as hearsay when it's "testimonial" or created for the purposes of litigation.
And the argument has been made that 9-1-1 calls are testimonial because they are given by an individual who is being questioned by an agent of law enforcement, i.e., a dispatcher who answers the phone at the police department. However, the U.S. Supreme Court determined in Davis v. Washington, 547 U.S. 813 (2006), that 9-1-1 calls are not "testimonial" when the person is frantic, is calling for help for an immediate emergency, and is not calmly answering questions put forth by an agent of law enforcement for the purposes of future litigation. The U.S. Supreme Court held that it's one thing to calmly answer questions in an interview, but it's quite another when a person is screaming into the phone for help because someone is trying to hurt them, or someone in their presence. Id.
In Illinois, the First Circuit held that a 9-1-1 call, pursuant to the Supreme Court's ruling in Davis, did not constitute "testimonial hearsay" when the contact with the dispatcher was volunteered for the purpose of initiating police action or criminal prosecution. People v West, 311 Ill.App.3d 28 (1st Dist. 2005).
Also remember that such testimony can be admissible under the "excited utterance" hearsay exception, as well as the "business records" exception. It can also be admissible under the "past recollection recorded" hearsay exception. In a custody case, or an Order of Protection case, there are few things that sway a judge more than hearing a 9-1-1 call in which a frightened individual is reporting an incident of violence.
But, how do you get those tapes into evidence? If the person isn't there to testify about what happened, it's hearsay and it's not admissible. Furthermore, in Crawford v. Davis, 541, U.S. 36, 53-54 (2003), the U.S. Supreme Court talked about the inadmissibility of evidence as hearsay when it's "testimonial" or created for the purposes of litigation.
And the argument has been made that 9-1-1 calls are testimonial because they are given by an individual who is being questioned by an agent of law enforcement, i.e., a dispatcher who answers the phone at the police department. However, the U.S. Supreme Court determined in Davis v. Washington, 547 U.S. 813 (2006), that 9-1-1 calls are not "testimonial" when the person is frantic, is calling for help for an immediate emergency, and is not calmly answering questions put forth by an agent of law enforcement for the purposes of future litigation. The U.S. Supreme Court held that it's one thing to calmly answer questions in an interview, but it's quite another when a person is screaming into the phone for help because someone is trying to hurt them, or someone in their presence. Id.
In Illinois, the First Circuit held that a 9-1-1 call, pursuant to the Supreme Court's ruling in Davis, did not constitute "testimonial hearsay" when the contact with the dispatcher was volunteered for the purpose of initiating police action or criminal prosecution. People v West, 311 Ill.App.3d 28 (1st Dist. 2005).
Also remember that such testimony can be admissible under the "excited utterance" hearsay exception, as well as the "business records" exception. It can also be admissible under the "past recollection recorded" hearsay exception. In a custody case, or an Order of Protection case, there are few things that sway a judge more than hearing a 9-1-1 call in which a frightened individual is reporting an incident of violence.
Anita Hill Contacted by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas' Wife
Ok, everyone knows I'm a divorce attorney. And, I know how to set up a situation to make one party look bad. And, I'll admit when I'm wrong. And, I'll admit I'm not clairvoyant, and I don't have a crystal ball.
But, I do know how people act when a marriage is in trouble. And I see trouble in the Thomas' household.
Click here at the Associated Press site, to see what Justice Thomas' wife did 20 years after the fact. See also here at Above The Law to see other law professionals' opinions on her actions.
But, I do know how people act when a marriage is in trouble. And I see trouble in the Thomas' household.
Click here at the Associated Press site, to see what Justice Thomas' wife did 20 years after the fact. See also here at Above The Law to see other law professionals' opinions on her actions.
Minimize Your Legal Fees: Marion County & Clay County, Illinois
Clients are always concerned about the money it costs to talk to their attorney. But, don't make the mistake of not telling your attorney when you talk to your ex-spouse or your soon-to-be ex-spouse. When your ex's attorney calls your attorney, and talks all about how the two clients are working out a settlement, your attorney is not only going to look like a fool (for being left in the dark) but also now has to do some "fast foot work" to keep from LOOKING like a fool. Your attorney will also be upset with you, and rightfully so.
Yes, it costs to talk to your attorney, but don't make the mistake of paying for an attorney, and not letting them do the job for which they were hired. If you're not going to use your attorney to their fullest ability, then don't hire one.
Two primary rules in dealing with your attorney: (1) don't lie to your attorney. That also means don't try to "hide" anything from your attorney either - omission is the same as a lie to an attorney. And (2) tell your attorney about any conversations with your ex-spouse. The conversation will NEVER sound the same coming from your ex and his/her attorney, rather than the way the conversation took place according to you. If you're not comfortable with doing this with your attorney, perhaps you should re-consider the relationship between you and your attorney.
In my experience, it always costs a client MORE money for me to chase after a client, to find out what happened, after opposing counsel calls me about how the two clients had a long talk, and worked out a settlement. Inevitably, my client didn't work out a deal, but now I have to deal with the fall-out, and what opposing counsel claims happened between the two. It always costs more to put the "cat back in the bag," then never letting the "cat out of the bag" in the first place.
Best Rule: always let your attorney know what's going on between you and your ex-spouse. We attorneys can work cheaper with information than we can with surprise.
Yes, it costs to talk to your attorney, but don't make the mistake of paying for an attorney, and not letting them do the job for which they were hired. If you're not going to use your attorney to their fullest ability, then don't hire one.
Two primary rules in dealing with your attorney: (1) don't lie to your attorney. That also means don't try to "hide" anything from your attorney either - omission is the same as a lie to an attorney. And (2) tell your attorney about any conversations with your ex-spouse. The conversation will NEVER sound the same coming from your ex and his/her attorney, rather than the way the conversation took place according to you. If you're not comfortable with doing this with your attorney, perhaps you should re-consider the relationship between you and your attorney.
In my experience, it always costs a client MORE money for me to chase after a client, to find out what happened, after opposing counsel calls me about how the two clients had a long talk, and worked out a settlement. Inevitably, my client didn't work out a deal, but now I have to deal with the fall-out, and what opposing counsel claims happened between the two. It always costs more to put the "cat back in the bag," then never letting the "cat out of the bag" in the first place.
Best Rule: always let your attorney know what's going on between you and your ex-spouse. We attorneys can work cheaper with information than we can with surprise.
Modifying A Custody Order Within Two Years: Marion County & Clinton County Illinois
If anyone wants to fight a custody order within two (2) years of its entry, Illinois requires the non-custodial parent to file a Petition to Modify Custody with an Affidavit alleging facts that give the court a "reason to belive" that the present environment seriously endangers the child or children. 750 ILCS 5/610(a).
The process to modify a custody order, even past the two year timeframe, is a battle, a difficult process, like trying to run the 100 yard dash, with hurdles. And, I don't use the term "battle" lightly. The non-custodial parent must not only give the court a reason to believe that the present environment seriously endangers the child or children, but also that a substantial change has occurred since the custody order, and the custodial parent is now unfit to have custody of the children. Department of Public Aid ex rel. Davis v. Brewer, 183 Ill.2d 540 (1998). It's not an easy task, and it's not one to start if you don't follow it through until the end.
The Illinois Supreme Court recently decided that any custody order must be challenged within 30 days of its entry. An Illinois Appellate Court held that a Motion to Reconsider a Custody Order must contain an Affidavit to give the court giving them a "reason to believe" that the present environment seriously endangers the child or children. In Re The Marriage of Marsh, 343 Ill.App.3d 1235 (4th Dist. 2003).
I've never heard of a Fourth Circuit court following this order. But, if they do, this would make it next to impossible to even fight a Motion to Reconsider/Vacate a Custody Order. This decision is only persuasive to the Fifth District, not controlling. That means the Fifth District Appellate Court does not have to follow it. But, the decision is out there, and it's a bad one. These kinds of decisions are why many Illinois divorce & custody attorneys say that you can find an Illinois court decision to support any position you want. Not a good reputation to have. Of course, a good reputation is not something Illinois has had for quite some time.
But, that's another post for another blog. Just remember: attempting to modify a custody order is tough row to hoe, and not for the faint-of-heart.
The process to modify a custody order, even past the two year timeframe, is a battle, a difficult process, like trying to run the 100 yard dash, with hurdles. And, I don't use the term "battle" lightly. The non-custodial parent must not only give the court a reason to believe that the present environment seriously endangers the child or children, but also that a substantial change has occurred since the custody order, and the custodial parent is now unfit to have custody of the children. Department of Public Aid ex rel. Davis v. Brewer, 183 Ill.2d 540 (1998). It's not an easy task, and it's not one to start if you don't follow it through until the end.
The Illinois Supreme Court recently decided that any custody order must be challenged within 30 days of its entry. An Illinois Appellate Court held that a Motion to Reconsider a Custody Order must contain an Affidavit to give the court giving them a "reason to believe" that the present environment seriously endangers the child or children. In Re The Marriage of Marsh, 343 Ill.App.3d 1235 (4th Dist. 2003).
I've never heard of a Fourth Circuit court following this order. But, if they do, this would make it next to impossible to even fight a Motion to Reconsider/Vacate a Custody Order. This decision is only persuasive to the Fifth District, not controlling. That means the Fifth District Appellate Court does not have to follow it. But, the decision is out there, and it's a bad one. These kinds of decisions are why many Illinois divorce & custody attorneys say that you can find an Illinois court decision to support any position you want. Not a good reputation to have. Of course, a good reputation is not something Illinois has had for quite some time.
But, that's another post for another blog. Just remember: attempting to modify a custody order is tough row to hoe, and not for the faint-of-heart.
Hearsay: Marion County & Jefferson County, Illinois
It's something everybody says they know about, but few people understand. The court defines hearsay as an "out of court statement offered for the truth of the matter asserted." What does that mean in plain language? It means that if you testify as to what someone else said, that other person must be available to testify as to what they said.
An example that is used all the time in divorce cases: if you testify about what your child told you about getting hit by your ex, your child will have to tell the judge about being hit. Why? Because you're not wanting the judge to believe you, you're wanting the judge to believe the child was hit. You're offering up a statement, made out of court, for the truth of that statement, i.e., the child was, in fact, hit. So, unless that child is available to testify to being hit, and to be asked questions by the other side, you won't be able to testify that your child was hit by your ex.
This is why lawyers HATE hearsay! This is one of the easiest, yet most difficult things we learn as trial attorneys. And so many lawyers and judges just don't understand the concept. Plus, there is no guarantee that we can convince a judge to understand and allow that testimony.
So, just understand the difficulties. See my earlier post about children testifying in court.
Children and Sexual Abuse: Marion County & Clinton County, Illinois
It's every parent's worst nightmare - thinking your children have been sexually abused, or, even more unbelievable, that your child is a sexual abuser. A wonderful resource is the Illinois Family Violence Coordinating Council. They have an office in each circuit to serve you and your family.
Check out their website here.
Check out their website here.
Children & Testimony: Marion County & Hamilton County, Illinois
Having children testify in court cases is a tricky and difficult decision. It just depends upon the child, and the situation. Illinois law says that unless a child testifies in a custody case, the court can only consider the child's wishes. Illinois law says that in an order of protection case, if the child witnessed the abuse, the child must testify. Otherwise, it's all hearsay, and the court cannot consider the parent's comments about what the child say as the truth.
So, parents ask what I recommend. And, when I tell them the kids have to testify, they always are confronted by the other parent, with statements like, "how could you do this to the kids?" "You're destroying those children!" "What kind of monster are you putting those kids in the middle like this?!" It's not an easy decision for any parent to make.
But, I've had a number of children testify in court, and when it's over, they were all glad they did. The court directed each side to stop questioning the kids about what happened, and what they said as a witness. And I always explain to the kids that their only job is to tell the truth. And once they tell the judge what happened, it's over - they don't have to talk about it, or answer questions about it any more. And they are relieved.
And in every case where the kids testified, the judge ruled in their favor. And the judge believed them. And as we all know, being believed, especially as a child, is really powerful, and important to our self-esteem.
So, as a mother, and a divorce attorney, unless I have a counselor that tells me the child will suffer some type of detrimental anxiety. or some setback, I encourage parents to allow their children to testify.
So, parents ask what I recommend. And, when I tell them the kids have to testify, they always are confronted by the other parent, with statements like, "how could you do this to the kids?" "You're destroying those children!" "What kind of monster are you putting those kids in the middle like this?!" It's not an easy decision for any parent to make.
But, I've had a number of children testify in court, and when it's over, they were all glad they did. The court directed each side to stop questioning the kids about what happened, and what they said as a witness. And I always explain to the kids that their only job is to tell the truth. And once they tell the judge what happened, it's over - they don't have to talk about it, or answer questions about it any more. And they are relieved.
And in every case where the kids testified, the judge ruled in their favor. And the judge believed them. And as we all know, being believed, especially as a child, is really powerful, and important to our self-esteem.
So, as a mother, and a divorce attorney, unless I have a counselor that tells me the child will suffer some type of detrimental anxiety. or some setback, I encourage parents to allow their children to testify.
Custody Decisions & Appeal: Marion County & Richland County, Illinois
The Illinois Supreme Court has ruled that when a custody decision is rendered, there is no waiting until all the issues are deciding if you want to appeal. Before this ruling, if the parties were arguing over a variety of issues, including custody, no one was allowed to appeal until the final decision was resolved. That meant that parties could be forced to go along with the court's decision for weeks, months, or even years until everything had been addressed in the court.
Now, when the court hands down a custody decision, you have 30 days to decide if you're going to live with it for the next two years, or if you're going to file an appeal.
Now, when the court hands down a custody decision, you have 30 days to decide if you're going to live with it for the next two years, or if you're going to file an appeal.
Sandra Bullock divorcing Jesse James
Even celebrities struggle with divorce. Sandra Bullock, in this article says she's "sad and scared."
Divorce is really hard. It makes you feel as though you've failed. Often, anger is a huge issue that one must come to grips with when going through a divorce.
Everyone needs help to deal with all details of custody, real estate, and personal property. You need someone who can remain calm, cool, and collected while you feel like you're falling apart.
Gosteli Law Firm can help. Call us today.
Divorce is really hard. It makes you feel as though you've failed. Often, anger is a huge issue that one must come to grips with when going through a divorce.
Everyone needs help to deal with all details of custody, real estate, and personal property. You need someone who can remain calm, cool, and collected while you feel like you're falling apart.
Gosteli Law Firm can help. Call us today.
Gays in Texas Denied the Right to Divorce
How frustrating would it be if you wanted a divorce, but the court said, "no"?
Well, that is exactly what is happening to a gay couple who married in Massachusettes but lives in Texas. They filed for a divorce in Texas, and the court refused to grant it because the court said it did not recognize their marriage in the first place.
Think about it generally: how would angry and frustrated would you be if you could NOT get a divorce?
Read the entire story here on Yahoo!
Well, that is exactly what is happening to a gay couple who married in Massachusettes but lives in Texas. They filed for a divorce in Texas, and the court refused to grant it because the court said it did not recognize their marriage in the first place.
Think about it generally: how would angry and frustrated would you be if you could NOT get a divorce?
Read the entire story here on Yahoo!
Angry and Depressed Divorce Clients: Marion County, Illinois
A study published in the Family Journal of Psychology says that husbands who display anger can fuel and increase their wives' depression. See the article from MSNBC.com here.
This is why counseling is so very important when going through a divorce. Nearly all husbands and wives have fought and/or argued on a regular basis before separating. Nearly everyone who gets a divorce has unresolved anger and self-esteem issues. These unresolved issues are understandable when the person who promised to love you forever has now told you that you are unlovable, and unworthy of their attention.
Now combine that with the study above, and you have a recipe for the perfect need for counseling. A good attorney will tell you that counseling is vital during and after a divorce. Counseling will make you a better parent, a better relationship partner, a happier person, and a better client. In my experience, the client in counseling has less attorney's fees, as they are better able to cope with the stress of court, negotiation, and litigation processes like discovery.
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This is why counseling is so very important when going through a divorce. Nearly all husbands and wives have fought and/or argued on a regular basis before separating. Nearly everyone who gets a divorce has unresolved anger and self-esteem issues. These unresolved issues are understandable when the person who promised to love you forever has now told you that you are unlovable, and unworthy of their attention.
Now combine that with the study above, and you have a recipe for the perfect need for counseling. A good attorney will tell you that counseling is vital during and after a divorce. Counseling will make you a better parent, a better relationship partner, a happier person, and a better client. In my experience, the client in counseling has less attorney's fees, as they are better able to cope with the stress of court, negotiation, and litigation processes like discovery.
Contempt of Court in a Divorce Case: Marion County & Fayette County, Illinois
A father in Chicago has been accused of violating a court order that limited him from exposing his child to any religion other than Judaism. What did he do? During a visitation, he took his 3 year old daughter to a Catholic Church. What is the big deal, you say? Well, he did not stop there. He had her baptized. Witnesses say that he did this just to upset his Jewish ex-wife because he was never a regular church-goer. See the story from ABC here.
Court orders are important. Judges hand out court orders, and like anyone else, they do not like it when their orders are not followed. And, when you do not follow a judge's order, you put yourself at risk of being held in contempt.
When a court hands down an order for you, if you violate the order, you can be penalized for it. Once the other side claims the order has been violated, they can file a Petition for Rule To Show Cause. They are, in effect, reminding the court what its order was, and how, in their opinion, you violated it. Then, the Court can issue the "Rule" which means you must go into court and show why or how you did not violate the Order, or if you did violate the Order, you did it with good reason. The burden of proof in a Rule To Show Cause hearing is "willful and contumnacious." In plain language, you did not violate the Order just because you could, but violated the order with good reason, and not on purpose, or to cause harm, or just to tick off the judge and the other side.
If the judge decides that you did this on purpose, with intent to harm, intimidate, anger, or harass the other side, you will be held in contempt. Then, a contempt hearing will be held, and the judge will decide if you will have to pay attorney's fees for violating the court order, and can also order you to spend some time in jail.
The bottom line is this: when you are involved in a divorce, act as though every move you make will be published on the local front page, and talked about in front of the judge. Why? Because it will be. Get in the habit of thinking before you act. Talk to your attorney regularly about plans for visitation, or dating someone. Be proactive, rather than reactive. Why? Because attorneys are expensive enough. The last thing you want to do is have to pay for your ex-spouse's attorney as well because you wanted to "make a point."
Court orders are important. Judges hand out court orders, and like anyone else, they do not like it when their orders are not followed. And, when you do not follow a judge's order, you put yourself at risk of being held in contempt.
When a court hands down an order for you, if you violate the order, you can be penalized for it. Once the other side claims the order has been violated, they can file a Petition for Rule To Show Cause. They are, in effect, reminding the court what its order was, and how, in their opinion, you violated it. Then, the Court can issue the "Rule" which means you must go into court and show why or how you did not violate the Order, or if you did violate the Order, you did it with good reason. The burden of proof in a Rule To Show Cause hearing is "willful and contumnacious." In plain language, you did not violate the Order just because you could, but violated the order with good reason, and not on purpose, or to cause harm, or just to tick off the judge and the other side.
If the judge decides that you did this on purpose, with intent to harm, intimidate, anger, or harass the other side, you will be held in contempt. Then, a contempt hearing will be held, and the judge will decide if you will have to pay attorney's fees for violating the court order, and can also order you to spend some time in jail.
The bottom line is this: when you are involved in a divorce, act as though every move you make will be published on the local front page, and talked about in front of the judge. Why? Because it will be. Get in the habit of thinking before you act. Talk to your attorney regularly about plans for visitation, or dating someone. Be proactive, rather than reactive. Why? Because attorneys are expensive enough. The last thing you want to do is have to pay for your ex-spouse's attorney as well because you wanted to "make a point."
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