Lots of parents get worked up about custody labels. And that concern is completely understandable because it's your child. In fact, clients often start out saying, "I'm not agreeing to anything but sole custody." and most people believe that joint custody means that the parties have equal time with the children, and no one has to pay child support.
There are two levels of custody, and they can be mixed and matched. Sole custody means that a parent has complete control over the children's education, medical treatment, and religion. True joint custody means that both parents have the decision making power over the children's education, medical treatment, and religion.
Keep in mind that the courts can only award what is labeled "joint custody" if the parents get along and communicate extremely well. If the two of you testify that you do not get along, you cannot call your arrangement "joint custody."
I have clients who want what others would call "joint custody" but don't communicate well at all. In that instance, there is no joint parenting agreement, but the terms of the "joint parenting" are written into the Marital Settlement Agreement without using that label. The Marital Settlement Agreement will simply state that one parent is the residential custodian or primary custodian. Then the agreement contains all the terms addressing how the parties will share decisions about the child(ren)'s medical care, religious upbringing, and educational needs.
By getting away from the term "joint custody," an agreement can be fashioned to address the wants and needs of each party when it comes to raising their child(ren).
